testing the strength of my self control

August 26, 2010

“You have three pair of Star Wars shoes?  I thought you only had two.”

The above statement can be taken two different ways.  First, with the implication that my wife finds me way hotter now that she knows I have three pair of Star Wars shoes.  Or, more likely, she could think I’m way nerdier.

Regardless of how you interpret her statement, the fact that I only own three pair of Star Wars shoes deserves a lot of credit.  Considering the limited supply of the kicks combined with their very high phatness quotient*, it would be reasonable to have purchased every last one of the releases.  But I didn’t.  I limited myself, even though I might never have the opportunity to buy Star Wars kicks again.  Good job, me.

*If you are interested in acquiring the actual equation for the phatness quotient, you’ll have to contact my mother-in-law.  She is a nationally known math methods professor, and is very close to earning her Ph.D.  I don’t believe the phatness quotient is the actual subject of her dissertation, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it at least makes an appearance.

But hark! The foul temptress of indulgence is preparing to rear her head again.

*Gasp*

Word came down the line this month that Adidas is planning a whole new run of Star Wars product for the upcoming Fall/Winter season.  My initial reaction is that I don’t love the new line.  Some of it is really quite ugly.  But there are three products I am incredibly smitten with.

Problem: I already have too many shoes/clothes/jackets.

Problem: The two items I want the most are a bit too fashion forward for my wife to be seen with me in public wearing them.

I don’t know what the solutions are to those two problems.  But I do know that no one on the corner would have swagger like me if I was rolling around in a Chewbacca-themed jacked with matching boots this winter.

And that, my friends, is a little thing I like to call “hawtness personified”.

Renew and Restore

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wednesday watchlist: my first college lecture

August 25, 2010

It’s official.  I’m teaching a college class.  At an accredited institution, nonetheless.  I feel pretty unworthy whenever I think of the PhD shaped void in my life.  There’s nothing quite like working on a college campus to give one feelings of degree envy.

There’s no way I’m the best prof on campus.  Not even close. But I’m passionate.  I’m prepared.  And I’m unique.  So very unique.

I did a good job sticking to the subject at hand yesterday.  Basic Christian Doctrine all the way.  But we also touched on some other topics, usually as illustrative points.  And those “other topics” make up today’s watchlist.

  • Star Wars.  Bet you didn’t see that one coming.  I actually kicked off the class with a scene from Star Wars Uncut.
  • Jay-Z, Kanye and U2. One of my students asked if there would be opportunities to earn extra credit.  I told the class I’d give anyone extra credit if they knew Jay Z’s birthday.  Nobody did.  This then led into my sharing with the class that Jay Z is opening for U2 on their upcoming tour of New Zealand and Australia, and how I need that to happen when the tour the US next summer.  Which led to my sharing about the U2 concert I went to in Omaha where Kanye opened. Somewhere in there at least 1/3 of the class started praying for my salvation.
  • Pink Floyd. I used the album cover to The Dark Side of the Moon as demonstration of how doing theology is like looking through a prism.
  • My Family. Because they are awesome.
  • Justin Timberlake. I have very little sympathy for late work, and encouraged my class to just suck it up and take the points deduction like an adult if they hand in work after the due date.  I then threatened to sing a the chorus of a certain JT song if they tried to sob story me.  But I don’t think I will.  That just wouldn’t be gracious or nice.

Tomorrow we have a 75-minute lecture on the Doctrine of Revelation.  I prepped it while listening to the DJ Hero soundtrack.  The lecture may or may not include the song God 2.o by the Roots. We’ll see if we can squeeze it in.  I really have a lot of info and discussion to get through.

It’s going to be a while before the students at this conservative Christian school in the Midwest figure out what to do with me.

Renew and Restore

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friday funkfest 27

August 13, 2010

Friday Funkfest. A recurring (almost weekly) flurry of quick hits, links, videos and thoughts. Clearly, the best way to waste time at work spend your lunch hour each and (almost) every Friday.

I’ve got nothing but love for John Williams.  Love him to death. In fact, I consider his music iconic.  A lot of emotions rise up whenever I hear John Williams scores.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t have some time to drool over a Star Wars trailer scored by Hans Zimmer.  That dude is legit. I have a lot of his stuff on my phone.  Much love for this mashup.  Makes me want to watch Star Wars again.  And Inception.  Fly.

  • I’ve really been pleased with my EVO 4G cell phone.  But the new R2D2 themed Droid from Verizon is very tempting.  Not tempting enough to break a contract with Sprint and double my cell bill.  But tempting in that I might try to pick a broken one up on Ebay in 3 years as a collectors item.
  • The NBA released the 2010-11 schedule this week.  The Blazers get 20 national TV games.  That means the NBA and the networks think we’ll be pretty good.  That makes me glad.  It also makes me glad that the first Blazers trip to Overrated City Oklahoma City is on a Friday night, and the second trip is on a Sunday evening.  I’m totally making the 3.5 hour roadie to one of those.  Or both. But at least one.
  • Know what’s gangsta?  Sea Lions. Well, at least the ones that hang out with Snoop Dogg.
  • Donald Miller would rather be hated, than be loved with conditions.  He makes some good points.
  • I was really down on the Royals this year.  Like, I’ve only watched 2 games all year down.  But they’ve finally jettisoned all of the players I didn’t care for, and I’m back on the bandwagon. There’s still plenty of room.  They’re horrible.  But at least I can now have faith in the plan. As always, Joe Posnanski can explain all of this much more eloquently than I can.
  • Is this, or is this not, the greatest baseball catch ever? Probably is.
  • Soccer season in England starts tomorrow.  Get a primer on kits world wide, check out the visual Premier League makeup for the year, pull up a chair and enjoy. Great week 1 matches on tap.

Renew and Restore

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how the urban core prepared me for rural america (part i)

August 10, 2010

One of the most interesting parts of looking back on the last decade is how God used each step along the way to prepare me for the next step.  The last two transitions have been particularly humorous due to their paradoxical nature.

Suburban ministry preparing me for urban ministry.

Urban ministry preparing me for a move back to rural America.

When I was at the big suburban church I never imagined this would be my career trajectory.  I thought I was going to go on to be a youth pastor at a big affluent suburban church like the one I was at and the one spent my high school years in.  People around me were grooming me for a position like that.  They were advocating for me to get positions like that.

Well that ship has sailed, and I really don’t think there is any going back.  As a family we have come to a place where we reject some of the statements that living in suburbia make, so it’s pretty much urban or rural for us from here on out.  Or as the New Monastics call it, the places abandoned by the Empire.

The place we are at now feels special, but it certainly feels removed from the Empire.  We’re 30 minute drive from a McDonald’s or a Wal Mart, for crying out loud.  There’s “out there”, and then 15 miles past that is where we live.

To be good with something like this I had to be ok with anonymity.  For the longest time, I wanted to be known.  Or rather, I wanted to have name recognition.  I wanted people to know the church I worked at.  To have either of those things be big enough that people could “identify” me two sentences into a conversation. I wanted to be viewed as kinda a big deal. In a way, I wanted to be anonymously famous.  Defined by my title, my name known by many, but with very few actually in my inner circle.  A leader in the cult of personality, so to speak.

The urban core cured me of my desire to be known.  The more I got immersed in my job, the more I faded into the background. Less speaking, mostly. Ironic, in that my story was becoming a lot more interesting. But as I stopped speaking I had more opportunities to listen. The listening was good. The listening taught me a lot about myself and a lot about God. Sometimes the key to learning is shutting up. And sometimes the key to figuring out you aren’t really a big deal is to fight the fight alongside of and for the benefit of the voiceless.

It was good for me.  If I still wanted to be known on a large scale, I never would have ended up where I am now. And the bugger of the deal is that where I am now is a place where I will be known.  Not on a large scale, by any means*.  But certainly with the depth that comes with living life in a small community where anonymity isn’t as much of an option.

*I am a bit famous in our new town, but only because my wife is the bomb dizzle. A lot of people who I’ve never met do know that I’m the new Doctor’s husband. Let’s just go ahead and add “Arm Candy” to my list of titles. Maybe I’ll just quit my job and start a new reality TV show.  “The Real House Husband of Rice County”. Or maybe not.

Renew and Restore

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my favorite video prank crew

August 9, 2010

Technically they aren’t a prank crew.   But they classify themselves as “improv” and that isn’t the case either.  Something tells me that nearly prop-grade Star Wars outfits take a little bit of planning to conjure up.  As do a jumbotron and the Good Year Blimp in the event you want to give some Little Leaguers the greatest game experience of their life.  And don’t even get me started on how much work it takes to throw a wedding reception, even if it’s a surprise reception for complete strangers. This is like the Broadway version of hidden camera videos.

What I love about (most) of these videos is that their goal is to make the bystanders happy.  It’s not to embarrass* them, make them look foolish or punk them.  That tends to be the goal of most hidden camera humor, but this is the opposite.  And I love it.

*The exception would be the no-pants subway ride. That is meant to make people squirm a little bit. And it sounds fun.  So very, very fun.  One of the little known facts about me is that my mother-in law has a habit of gifting me novelty boxers every third Christmas or so.  I have her to thank for my Monday Night Football boxers, my Disney World boxers and my Spicy Hot Christmas Boxers.  Those boxers are so repressed as they deserve to be seen. This would be the perfect outlet for such a show. All of this is a total overshare, but it’s out of nececity.  I guess what I’m getting at here is that when my wife sees me in a YouTube video riding a train in my dan-da-dans, she needs to blame her mother.  Not me.  Her mother.  Someone might have to help me incept that idea to get it to stick. Where’s Leo when you need him?

I’m going to go ahead and apologize now for wasting the rest of your afternoon, because I’m sure you’re going to head over to the Improv Everywhere page and watch every last video.  Which raises an important question.

What is your favorite Improv Everywhere video?  While Ghostbusters always brings a smile to my face, I’m going with Food Court Musical.  Comedic genius, right there.


Renew and Restore

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help me name my bbq team

July 15, 2010

One of my greatest achievements in life is earning certification as a Kansas City Barbecue Society judge. I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kinda a big deal. That being the case, judge certification was never the main goal.  It’s an opportunity for me to learn about the art and science of competition barbecue with the intent of competing at some point.

Now that life has slowed down I’ve been scoping out a good entry competition.  It just so happens that the town we now live in is having a contest the second weekend in September, and it’s tied to an event at my alma mater.  It’s not a KCBS sanctioned event, and it has some unorthodox rules and judging, but it could be a great first experience.  Preseason, if you will. Or “a friendly” if you’re well-versed in soccer vernacular.

First things first, though. If I’m going to enter, I need a team name. I’m 99% sure it will be a Star Wars themed name, but I can’t settle on just the right one.  I’m coming to you for help.  Please cast votes via the comments section on this page, or on one of the social networking sites through which you are connected to me.  I’m also accepting votes via text, phone call, in-person conversation, written correspondence and smoke signal.  And please, feel free to put forth any additional name nominations.  I need to get this right, and will leave no stone unturned.  Not even the Rock of Gibraltar.

Possible team names I’ve come up with include:

  • Jabba-Q – A great wordplay, but it doesn’t conjure up a lot of appetizing images.  Jabba’s never been one of my favorite characters in the Star Wars universe, either.  Well, I guess I’ve officially talked my way out of this selection.
  • Admiral AckbarBQ (alternate: Admiral Ackbarbecue) - My daughter heard me and The Manny do our Ackbar impersonation so many times over the last year that she now attempts to recreate his most famous line on a regular basis.
  • Let the Wookie Win – Do you want your barbecue chewy?  No. But this name has a lot of potential when it comes to decorating the booth, and is one of my favorite lines from any of the films.
  • Beggar’s Canyon BBQ - I love the coy poetry of this selection.  Only hardcore fans would know it was a Star Wars reference, which would be a cool shout-out to the series.  And it would be a good conversation starter as I can imagine a lot of people would swing by the booth wanting to know where Beggars Canyon is located.
  • Cell Block 1138 – Also an under-the-radar reference, though probably not a likely winner in that it’s a tad too gangsta.

    www.russellwalks.com

  • meAT-AT – The AT-AT is my favorite vehicle in the universe.  I plan on picking up one of the classic AT-AT toys off eBay and pairing it in my office next to one of the soon-to-be-released incarnation.  This name looks the coolest, but would probably be awkward for Star Wars novices to pronounce when calling the team up for awards. Any other AT-AT themed suggestions would be appreciated.
  • Porkins Up in Smoke -  A bit morbid, for sure.  But pretty funny and a good reference to some of the longer-running jokes in the Star Wars community.

  • Death Starbecue – On the one hand, the Death Star strikes fear into the hearts of millions thanks to its destructive power.  On the other hand, it got owned.  Twice.

As you can tell, I’ve been dedicating a lot of mental energy to this project.  If I end up using your idea over one of my own, I’ll reward your brilliance with a smoked pork shoulder.  Game recognize game, son.

Renew and Restore

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maximizing my enjoyment of world cup 2010

July 12, 2010

World Cup 2010 is in the books.  I really have to hand it to myself.  I enjoyed this Cup to the max.  It took some advance planning and a bit of fortune, but I pulled it off.  In case you want to follow my template for 2014, I am openly revealing the keys to my success.

  • Start Prepping Early - I really enjoyed the 2006 World Cup, even though I went into it blind. I knew less than a handful of the players, and my knowledge of tactics and teams was equally limited.  But the tournament was enough to motivate me to start watching matches and following soccer blogs, which allowed my soccer IQ to blow up.  It made pretty much every match of this tournament interesting for me because of the back stories and contextual intrigue.
  • Don’t Be a Snob – The downside to embracing the sport is that it opens the door to arrogance.  It’s no secret that soccer interest spikes in the US during the World Cup, which can be really fun when embraced.  I had a great time going to watch parties, one of which was attended by 10,000 other people.  Granted, I plopped myself down right in the middle of the hardcore US soccer junkies who were singing and chanting the whole match.  But accepting the fringe interest certainly made for a fun month of soccer parties and conversation.
  • Don’t Get Baited into Arguments – With the increase in soccer interest for the month came an increase in vocal haters.  I made a decision early on to not engage the haters.  It would just be a massive waste of time.  Most of the people squawking that mess would not be converted through any kind of discussion, particularly those based on facebook or twitter.  Different strokes for different folks. I refused to be drug down into a debate on the relative value of the event because the only result would be the diminishing of my own joy.
  • (mostly) Quit Your Day Job – admittedly, this isn’t doable for most people.  For the last 7 years I missed my fair share of awesome sporting events.  Such is the plight of those in youth ministry.  Spring breaks line up with the first week of the NCAA Tournament each year, which meant I always missed my favorite sports binge.  Missions trips and retreats took me out of commission for chunks of World Cup 2006.  I would suffer no such fate this year.  In order to get ready for the big move, I ratcheted my job in KC down to 2 days per week in June.  One of those days I worked an afternoon/evening shift, so my schedule was wide open for all kinds of World Cup watching.  And did I ever watch.  The move did cause me to sit out the quarter finals, but other than that I was locked into watch mode.

Now my biggest problem is World Cup withdrawal.  I already miss the din of the vuvuzela and the sweet British musings of Martin Tyler.  2014 can’t come soon enough.

Renew and Restore

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like this, east point and we gone…

July 1, 2010

6:30 in the morning, and there’s pretty much nothing to do.  All of our stuff is packed in boxes and come 8am our house will be a torrent of activity as the movers come to load it all on the truck.

For the past 7 years we have lived in the same house.  It was the first house we bought.  It welcomed both of our kiddos and was the staging area for so many memories we will hold dear for the rest of our lives.

Over the last couple of days, it’s been really important for me to make the house look perfect for the buyers that will move in this afternoon.  Patching nail holes in the walls, making sure the lawn looks immaculate.  Some of that is for the house’s sake.  I want them to say all kinds of nice things about it when they move in so that its feelings don’t get hurt now that we are leaving it after so many years.  And when I close the door for the last time this afternoon I want my last mental picture to be immaculate.

Part of my motivation is definitely centered on the buyers, though.  A young couple is buying this house.  It’s there first home.  There is a lot about their situation that reminds me of ours when we moved in back in the day.  I want this day to be one of the most joyous of their lives.  I want them to feel pride when they step into their house for the first time.  I want them to enjoy this house as much as we’ve enjoyed it over the years. .

It’s brick.  It’s mortar.  It’s wood.  It’s plaster.  It’s windows. It’s a yard.  It’s cement. It’s carpet and rooms and lights and doors and in the end it’s so much more than that.

I’m thankful to have lived here.  It’s been a good crib.

Renew and Restore

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saying goodbye to the woman i married

June 24, 2010

When I met my wife, she wasn’t my wife.  She was an 18 year-old college freshman who had aspirations of being a doctor.  We had a public speaking class together, and the alphabetical seating chart gods smiled down on us as I had the opportunity to sit behind her for the entire semester.  As an added bonus, we ended up assigned to the same final project group. And we did the bulk of the work to make sure our group Aced the project.  That’s a lot of quality time.

We enjoyed our assigned time together so much that we started spending time together voluntarily.  Studying together, going on walks, going on dates.  Generally doing the things that young people do when they fall in love.

That young lady never lost track of her goal to be a doctor.  She worked hard all throughout college.  Really hard.  Three years into her college career, I would marry this would-be doctor.  Not because she was going to be a doctor.  Because she was amazing. The most gracious, hardworking and loving person I would ever meet. A beautiful person of high character and strong moral fortitude.

All of those characteristics would serve her well when she moved to Kansas City where she entered Medical School.  That was where the task really started to seem impossible.  The woman who had never known anything other than A’s started to struggle in classes.  The chief goal of med school seems to be to break the will of every single student, consequences be damned.  It’s no wonder so many doctors are jerks.

But my wife made it.  She handled the wringer with grace and dignity.  She kept the faith and she kept pursuing her goals.  And all the while she was supportive of my callings and my vocational journey.

After four hard years, medical school was over, though there would be no rest for the weary. Before this highly educated woman could hang her shingle and practice the medicine, she would have to go through residency.  It was like medical school, only worse.  Instead of trying to make her feel dumb, the chief end was to break her will to live by introducing torturous levels of exhaustion.  80, 90, 100 hour work weeks exhausted.  Add in the two kids we brought into our family during that time period, and you’re looking at a woman trying to set a record for the least hours of sleep recorded over a thirty six month period.

But tomorrow it all ends. In reality, it’s been winding down all week.  She delivered her last OB patient of residency Monday night. She turned her pager in on Sunday.  She’s done with clinics and rotations and only has a two day conference left.  And it will all culminate tomorrow night when she stands on stage and graduates from residency.

For the first time in the 10.5 years I’ve known her and the almost 8 years we’ve been married, this woman will not be working toward her vocational goal.  No more working to become a doctor.  I’m finally saying goodbye to the woman who is striving to achieve her long-held goal, and finally saying hello to the woman who has achieved it.

And I couldn’t be more proud of her.

Renew and Restore

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wednesday watchlist: us world cup gameday rituals

June 23, 2010

I can’t believe it.  We are through to the Round of 16 on what has to be one of the more amazing matches I’ve ever seen.

Somewhere around the 90th minute, I was regretting all my gameday rituals.  There are only two, but The Manny and I plotted them out ahead of the tournament and have stuck to them.  Good thing we did.  We needed those good luck charms in the end. And here they are.  Feel free to join with us Saturday for the Round of 16 match…

  • Bacon – Every match gets it’s own specialty bacon dish.  For England we had bacon pancakes.  Strips of bacon cooked, and then the batter poured around them for deliciousness.  But those things are FILLING.  I couldn’t even finish my second one.  Come the Slovenia match we picked up a Bacon Explosion, which is bacon wrapped in sausage wrapped in bacon.  And smoked.  With cheese. And finally, this morning we wrapped bacon into our sweet rolls.  It’s a delicious tradition that highlights the fact we are Americans.  But I probably need to take it a little easy on Saturday.  I was seriously about to throw up most of the match.  Tension + Adrenaline + Bacon = Nothing Good.  I held it together though.  Just like the team.
  • Lucky Shirts – Back in March I picked up a Landon Donovan shirt.  Yes, I totally dissed the design when it was released.  But sometimes you have to get over yourself and do what’s best for your country.  I’ve only worn the jersey on World Cup matchdays, and I have yet to watch it.  That’s becoming slightly problematic as we progress in the tournament as watching US games really makes me sweat.  All three have been edge-of-the-seat affairs, and have seen me jump and pace quite a bit.  Nothing a little Fabreeze and body spray can’t fix.

And so we’re on to the next one.  Let’s go boys.

Renew and Restore

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