just being christian

We are scheduled to take a child birthing class next month.  Mostly for my benefit, seeing as though Stacy has already been in on dozens of deliveries.  We’ll actually be a really funny couple.  We already have one child and Stacy has seen tons OB experience.  And yet, we still need to take a class because I have a number of things to learn about the child birthing process.  Correction.  I had a lot of things to learn.  That Cosby video pretty much covers it, I’m sure.  We can save the money and the 8hrs.  (Part 2 is here, and it only gets better)

• I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the economy is bad.  The people I feel the worst for are the professional soccer players, and the lifestyle changes that are now necessary.
• Good take on the sustainablity of urban farming.
• I love sports.  What does that say about my political affiliation?
• If you ever wanted to write a book, Don Miller gives some helpful pointers.
• There are only five pro teams in America that don’t want to pimp your Irish heritage like Irish people.
• Very few things raise my Mother’s ire more than people who spit.  When I was younger, she made many threats about what she would do to me if she saw me spitting.  I thought it was a little silly, but it helped me grow up to be way less gross than my friend Greg.

Renew and Restore

Each night before bed we sing Elli a song.  Typically she will request a diddy to the tune of Frere Jacques, seeing as though it’s her favorite song on Pop Goes the Wiggles! “Mommy loves Elli” is always very popular.  Other times, she picks an inanimate object that is in her stream of consciousness.  “The door loves Elli” has been a request, as has “Daddy’s lawn mower loves Elli”.

The other night, “God loves Elli” ended up in the playlist.  It’s good to know she has an understanding of God’s love at a young age.  All of that Bonheoffer I’ve been reading to her must be paying off.

The song did raise some obvious questions however.  When she should have been slowing down and getting ready to sleep, Elli was instead pondering theological constructs.

“Where’s God, Mommy?”

“God’s in Heaven.”

Factually correct.  But Stacy felt like her answer might make God seem too distant.  God isn’t ONLY in heaven.  Behold, the beauty of omnipresence.

“But he’s also in your heart.”

Also factually correct.  Except that if you are a three year old, you are stuck in a very concrete mode of thinking.  So when Mommy says God is in your heart, scenes from Alien start going through your mind.  At least they seemed to be going through Elli’s.  She started looking down the neck-hold in her pajamas and tapping her chest.

“Where’s he?!?  Where’s he?!?”

Let that be your parenting lesson for the day.  Explanations on the presence of God are not conducive to a relaxing bedtime.

Renew and Restore

WARNING

Today’s post can be described two ways: Funny or gross.  Funny and gross might suffice as well.  My feeling is that sometimes you have to share the funny things that happen in life, because it keeps people from thinking you take yourself too seriously.  That’s why I share stories like this for the entire world to read on the internets.  I understand that some folks really want to live in ignorance about what I do in the bathroom.  That’s your prerogative.  Just don’t complain if you read past this point, because you’ve been warned.

Like most non-profits these days, we have experienced a decline in monetary support.  We are about par for the course with most ministries similar to ours, though we have saved well over the past few years so we have a bit of a buffer.  Our culture of frugality may have seemed like a pain in the tookas at times, but now it’s paying off.  All of those winter days sitting at my desk with my coat on now mean we’re not having to cut back on our programming as of yet.

One of the habits that have become commonplace is using the restroom without the luxury of electricity.  I used to always flip the light switch on upon entering the lav until one fateful day when a female coworker walked in on me because she thought someone had left the light on in an empty bathroom.  So now I just go in the dark.  It beats any unintentional breach in privacy.

I guess it’s not completely dark in there.  There is a pretty large section of frosted glass on one of the walls that lets in quite a bit of light during the daytime.

Unless it’s cloudy.

Like it was one afternoon a couple of weeks ago.

After two years, I have the floor plan of the room committed to memory.  A little extra darkness isn’t going to stop me from pinching pennies.  Even though the increased darkness was a brutal contrast to the bright computer screen I had been staring at for the past couple of hours, I successfully found my way to the second urinal without any drama.

Drama would soon commence, however.  The moment I began my business, my ears alerted me to a problem.  I wasn’t hearing familiar sounds.  They were sharper.  Closer.  But the launch sequence had already started, so I was committed.

Once I was in good standing with my bladder again, I headed straight over to the light and flipped the switch.  I felt an instant rush of rebellion.  But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.  I headed over to the familiar second urinal and my suspicions were confirmed.

I had tinkled all over the “Out of Order” sign.

There was still a chance that the situation could be salvaged.  If “Out of Order” meant “this urinal is going to spout $100 bills every time you flush it”, we could work around the issue.  But alas, “Out of Order” was in reference to the fact that the urinal would not flush.  That’s some information I could have used prior to saddling up.

When a person needs to go into a supervisors office to ask how to proceed in a situation like this, said person is half embarrassed and half in hysterics.  Or perhaps embarrassment is just hidden by unbridled laughter.  Whatever the case, it makes for a fun story to tell.  And a fun story to share on the internet, for that matter.

Renew and Restore

On a handful of occasions I’ve lamented the lack of parenting the kids we work with have.  But even as I lament that reality, I am thankful for people who stand in the gap when parents don’t live up to their responsibilities.  Some people (like myself do what we can to work with parents, kids and teachers to stand in the gap and serve all parties involved.

But the true champions in situations like this tend to be grandmothers.  We have a number of kids we are in relationship with who live with their grandmothers, as their parents have not done what is necessary to be there for their own children.

When we talk to our kids about images of God, there are a lot of times where we will mention their grandmothers.  When your dad has rarely shown strong character (if he’s been around), it’s hard to resonate well with some guy doing a bible study about your Father in Heaven.  So a lot of times we’ll interject in the middle of our teaching how in a lot of ways, God is like their grandmother.  That’ll freak a lot of people out, judging reaction to The Shack, but if you want kids to understand Gods character, you have to meet them where they are at and build from there.

I was reminded of all this the other night when I heard a piece about grandparents raising their grandchildren on our local NPR station.  It really is a good piece in that it demonstrates the love and sacrifice these women show to their grand kids, while at the same time grieving the decisions their own kids have made.  It’s a bit on the longish side (15min), but really worth the listen.

Renew and Restore

Daddy.  I want to listen to the Bible.

Elliana Dashiell, as I buckle her into her car seat.

Every single time for the past two weeks.  The same request.  The Bible.  I can hardly blame the kid.  We have a really cool audio version of the Bible that my dad gave us for Christmas a couple of years ago.  Zondervan put out The Bible Experience, which incorporates the voices of anyone who is anyone in the black acting community.  It is complete with sound effects and a musical score.  It’s quite good.  And Elli is addicted to it.  Of course I oblige her request each time.  After listening to fantasy football podcasts in the car for 4 months, she’s tapped out in regards to sports knowledge.  Plus, The Bible Experience is about a million times better than listening to a Veggie Tales cd.  While the DVD’s are cute, the CD’s are absolutely brutal.

Whenever we play the Bible CD’s the kid is mesmerized.  She just looks out the window and takes the whole thing in.  I’m a little shocked that it isn’t too scary for her.  Some parts are super realistic.  You start to realize how graphic the Bible is when it comes to life right before your ears.  Now we just have the New Testament, and we have only made it through Matthew and part of Mark.  But when the demon possessed people or the man suffering from seizures are brought to Jesus it gets a little intense.  So we’ll probably skip over family listenings of Revelation, Judges and Song of Solomon for a few years.

A couple of random points:

• This is my first prolonged exposure to the TNIV.  While KJV-only folk might view it as anathema, I think it flows well.
• While a lot of the voice actors are famous, I don’t find myself getting distracted by them all that often.  With one exception.  God.  I know.  It’s a pretty big exception.  They cast Samuel L Jackson in the role.  I understand that we all have our faults, but I feel like all that guy ever does is fill up the screen with his potty mouth in most of his roles.  Ever time God speaks on the CD, I half expect the passage to end with a MF bomb.
• I wonder what Elli is going to think Jesus looks like.  A lot of times I can tell a person’s ethnicity by hearing their voice.  She probably won’t be imagining the ever popular Scandinavian Jesus.
• We do a systematic reading of the Psalms with the boys at The Hope Center each night.  It would be cool to use the Bible Experience during that liturgy.

Renew and Restore

For what it’s worth, I thought the 2009 NBA Slam Dunk Contest was a turd.  Not as turdy as the 3-point shootout, but a turd nonetheless.  Too bad I made it appointment viewing.  I had high hopes, and in the end I was let down by the uneven performances, lack of pace and the cartoonish way everything seemed scripted and corny.  And I’m not just saying that because I’m a Blazer Fan, and Saturday night continued the time honored tradition of Blazers disappointing in dunk contests.

I didn’t help the situation any by watching classic dunk contests earlier in the week.  1986, 1987 and 1988 were solid.  So was 2000 when Vice Carter went all crazy and proved to everyone that innovation was still possible.  You watch the classics, and the current incarnation has a lot to live up to.

But perhaps the event wasn’t an unmitigated disaster.  So the contest didn’t get a life long hoop head like myself all hot and bothered.  In fact, I was ready to turn it off and go to bed right as the final round was about to start.  But I didn’t.  You know why?  Because my wife wanted to finish watching it.

You read correctly.  My wife.  My very pregnant wife.  My wife who had worked 30 of the previous 38 hours, and had only spent 4 of her free hours sleeping.  My wife who has probably just watched one televised basketball game wire-to-wire since I met her.  She wanted to see the end of the dunk contest.

It’s possible that pregnancy causes some hormonal imbalance that makes women crave (or at least tolerate) dunk contests. I don’t know.  But if the NBA can put on an event that expands their viewing audience and puts their product in front of eyeballs that are typically ambivalent toward said product, then the event is a success.

I’ll be honest.  That reality stings me a little bit.  The NBA is my true sports love and it should be wooing me.  It shouldn’t be gettin’ all amorous with Sally-come-lately.  Stand by your man, NBA.  Stand by your man.

Renew and Restore

Friday Funkfest.  A recurring (almost weekly) flurry of quick hits, links, videos and thoughts. Clearly, the best way to waste time at work spend your lunch hour each and (almost) every Friday.

If you have ever seen a more terrible rap video, I’d like you to please send it my way.

props to Hillcrest Road

• You know what I need more of on my blog?  John Tesh going CRAZY.
• Yesterday I wrote about the retro sports events I have enjoyed recently.  Add another to the list.  Classic Dunk Contests.  NBATV had a marathon on Thursday night, and it was a buffet of dunky goodness.
• When I was a young baller (3rd grade, I believe), I was once brought to tears by a ref who called me for palming the ball numerous times in one half.  To his credit, he took time at the half to gently explain to me when I kept having to give the ball to the other team.  It would appear Corey Maggette and Thunder Dan Majerle never had to learn that painful lesson.
• I have to give credit to U2.  They could very well sit back and sell a butt-load of albums without doing any promotional work.  But not content to sit back and let the money roll in on it’s own, they are doing an entire week on Letterman.  And speaking of U2, they know love.
• Honest conversation about female body image.
• World Cup 2010 ticket info was finally released this week.
• I am a little AR about editing my title line each Friday.  I fear that someday I will mistakenly have a typo of vulgar proportions, morphing “funkfest” into a word far less appropriate.  I bet I’d get a lot more hits from google, though.
• Great article giving you the scoop behind the origins of 20 different Muppets.

Renew and Restore

I’ve been watching a lot less college basketball this year.  I still like it.  There is just a lot of stuff in the background that I’m not all that enamored with as I get older.

The tension was apparent when I was watching the KU-MU game the other night.  It was an entertaining ending, even though KU lost.  I loved the fact that the kids rushed the court and the dude who hit the game winner couldn’t hear a word the sideline reporter said as she tried to interview him.  But at the same time, it’s kinda disconcerting to watch the older fans in the crowd.  Rich 40 year old guys viciously screaming their heads off at 18-22 year old kids.  I’m all for passionately rooting on your own team, but do middle aged dudes really need to ride kids just because they play basketball at an institution from the neighboring state?

Instead, I’ve been watching a lot of old sports.  ESPN Classic, MLB TV, the NFL Network and NBA TV all show lots of classic games.  I typically don’t watch an entire game, but if I have some time on my hands I’ll catch 20 min or so of a game that sounds interesting.  In the past few months I’ve got to see:

• George Brett play baseball.  I was very focused on Blazers basketball during grade school.  With no MLB team in Portland, I watched no MLB growing up.  But now I’m in an MLB town, and it’s cool to watch Royals greats play in classic games.
• Non-Corporate Super Bowls.  I like the throwback games from the ’70′s.  The crowds were really loud, and there were a lot of Hall of Famers on some of those teams.  Plus, the announcers just talk about football, instead of everything under the sun.
• The NBA’s glory years.  The 90′s were amazing in the NBA.  The other night I was watching a couple of All-Star games from the early 90′s and they were sweet.  Not just because at one point there were 3 Blazers on the floor at once while Rick Adelman coached, but because MJ was the man and legit centers did battle with each other.  And Shaq was skinny.  And dudes I completely forgot about could really ball.  Like Tom Chambers.  And Mark Price.
• Pre BCS Bowl Games.  I’d rather have a bunch of teams just play each other and then let the voters vote how they want to vote after the Bowls have been played.  And play all the big ones on the same day.

Additionally, I’ve also found a great new (to me) sport.  Gaelic Football is incredible.  I have yet to figure out how to read the scoreboard, and I’m fuzzy on 85% of the rules.  But man, it looks so fun.  You bounce the ball, you kick the ball, you throw the ball and you can put it in the net OR over the bar.  I would love to go to a game if I ever find myself in the UK, and I would love even more to find a local league.  0% chance of that last wish being a possibility, btw.  What trips me out most about GF is how popular it is in that part of the world.  They sell out huge stadiums and people yell and scream and are passionate about a sport I had never even heard of until a few months ago.  Just goes to show this is a big and diverse world we live in.

Renew and Restore