Coleman (aka The Manny, aka @dahdscear) and I were at a Kansas City Wizards game a few months back when we got a notion. Wouldn’t it be cool if every World Cup year we each got an official US shirt* with our favorite current player’s name on the back? It’d be a cool deal because then over the years you could end up with a pretty cool collection. Not only would there be a timeline of how styles change over the years, but there would also be a way to remember my favorite player from each squad.
*In soccer, the “uniform” is called a “kit”. The “jersey” is referred to as a “shirt”
I am set on getting a Landon Donovan shirt. I’m not sure where Coleman is at. He wanted a Tim Howard, but keeper shirts are different from the other 10 players on the pitch.
Now the shirts won’t come out until February, so we’ve been waiting with bated breath for info to leak via the internets. A little unofficial preview is always appreciated, with the notable exceptions of U2 albums and Star Wars movies.
With all of the hype surrounding our fashion plans, there was a pretty big letdown when the leaked shirt finally made its way online.
I first saw an unofficial mock-up over at Hillcrest Road and immediately sent a link with my thoughts to Coleman.
Me: Shoot me now.
Coleman: Here she comes, Miss America…
To the best of my knowledge, the only people to wear sashes on a regular basis are beauty queens and Mayor Quimby. I half expect Nike to announce that they are going to print the home state of each player on the sash. That would be so fitting.
Is it the worst US Soccer kit ever? Well, no. The faux denim joint with stars upchucked across the front was a disaster of biblical proportions. 1994 was the clear low point.
And Nike is giving us a sash.
If our flag had a diagonal line on it, I could accept a sash.
If the US Soccer team were actually a basketball team from Portland with a history of belly sashes, I could accept a sash.
But neither of those “sash-clauses” are a reality in this situation. I’m over here, trying to be a grade-A fan, and we in here talkin’ ’bout sashes. Only in America. You know Nike wouldn’t dream of pitching something like this to Brazil or Portugal. Nike’s designers are perfectly capable of designing a slick kit. My theory is they chose not to in this case. Clearly, Nike hates America.
All that being said, I’m still springing for the Donovan shirt. I’m still going to support the squad, even if Nike hates America.
Renew and Restore