Potty training. Perhaps the greatest riddle of parenting young kids. So much anxiety for parent and child alike.
- Timing – Is the child smart enough to get the concept without having developed the stubbornness to go all anti-establishment?
- Time – Do the parents have time to invest in the process?
- Personality – What motivates the kid?
- Tactics – What system will the kid and parent find most doable?
In the end, I’m convinced that successful potty training involves successfully navigating the above matrix mixed with healthy doses of Jedi mind tricks and the grace of God.
And, in our house, the wisdom of my wife.
Last month we decided it was time to potty train the 2 year old. I was at home, so we had the time. He is going to a different babysitter starting in a couple of weeks and it would be nice to have him house trained before starting that fun. So we tried the whole “outfit the kid in underwear and praise him for being a big boy” strategy. I’d sum up our success with two words.
Dis. Aster.
After soiling all six pair of big boy skivvies in one day, Stacy suggested a strategical shift. She had read an article about how to potty train a toddler in three days. It seemed like a magic bean proposition to me, but I was willing to try it despite my skepticism.
The highlights of the plan include: your kid running around the house with no pants/diaper/undies for at least three straight days, putting a kiddie potty near where your kid plays, paying close attention to your kid for those first three days so that you can encourage them to potty all the time, and doing a celebratory song & dance every time someone in the house uses the toilet successfully.
Cold turkey? No potty patch, or anything? According to my calculations, the odds of successfully navigating potty training with such a method are 3720 to 1. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a husband, it’s to never tell my wife the odds.
Our home was quite the circus that week. Bare booty. Lots of hand clapping and singing. Perhaps the dorkiest dance you’ve ever seen in your life. It was a party like none other. Especially entertaining when we took our show on the road to a friend’s house for dinner one night. They were very accommodating of our new lifestyle.
Glory, glory. In the end this cockamamie scheme worked. It took longer than three days to achieve complete potty trained status. But it worked, and I’ve been converted into a believer. Granted, we’re now unable to convince our son that he needs to wear pants. That’s probably what I get for singing this song during most of the first year of his life. My bad.
