My BBQ Apprentice
The last time I posted on this site was right after my daughter’s birthday. It’s not that I haven’t been writing since then. We’ve just had a lot going on with our family, so my writing and emotional and creative energy have been focused in that direction.
Now that I’m getting both my parenting and professional feet back under me, I thought it appropriate to give my son a shout-out on his birthday. Because kids aren’t like Star Wars movies. You can’t favor one over the others*. So tons of love and a birthday post for Bubby today as he turns the big “3″.
*Episode V, IV, III, VI, II, I. In that order.
The older Bubby gets, the more he teaches me about life. A couple weeks ago he put on an absolute clinic illuminating the finer points of mentoring.
It started as I was getting my smoker fired up for a day of BBQ. My kids don’t typically get to see that part of the process since I’ll usually prep the meat and load the smoker once they are in bed. As far as they know, I have a magic meat making machine that produces carnivorous delights. But on this occasion I was smoking some smaller cuts for a later meal, so I had the luxury of doing all of my prep in the morning. Bubby was tootling around the back yard while I prepped, and eventually found interest in my activities.
Bubby: Is that your smoker?
Me: Yep.
Bubby: Is it hot?
Me: It’s getting there. I’m just starting the fire.
Bubby: Are there hot dogs in there?
Me: (chuckling) No, bubs. It’s beef and ribs today. But they aren’t in there yet.
Bubby: Where are they?
Me: Inside. I need to go inside to the kitchen to get them ready.
Bubby: I want to help.
My heart smiled wide at that very moment. This was the first time he had ever shown interest in the sacred art of smoked meats. And to his credit, he was serious about helping. He grabbed a chair to stand on so that he could reach the counter, and dutifully completed every task I gave him. That morning I gained my very first Meat Apprentice, and I embraced the role of Meat Mentor. Looking back, the experience highlighted some important lessons in mentoring:
- A good apprentice asks questions. A good mentors explains process – Bubby is a blank slate when it comes to smoking meat. To his credit, he asks a ton of questions. In taking time to answer each and every one of them, and even explaining some things he didn’t ask about, his BBQ IQ jumped exponentially during his initial exposure. We talked about why we brush mustard on the meat before cooking it. We talked about all of the different spices I was mixing for the dry rub. We talked about how long the meat was going to cook, why it was going to take so long, and when exactly we would be able to eat it. What we do is important. Why we do it is important as well. For instance, while good BBQ doesn’t need sauce, we do allow ourselves to use sauce from glass bottles. But aside from Gates Sweet & Mild, we never use BBQ sauce from plastic bottles because it desecrates that which has been set aside as delicious.
- A good apprentice jumps in. A good mentor encourages appropriate action – Bubby loves to help. When it comes to BBQ, some types of assistance are more appropriate for a 3 year old than others. He didn’t get to trim the meat with my Samurai-grade meat knives. He didn’t get to handle the flaming hot coals. But he did get to help season the meat, which he thought was pretty cool.
- A good mentor affirms contributions – Bubby’s attention span is normal for his age. Which is to say, it’s about
16 seconds20-minutes. For us to prep the meat and put it on the smoker seven hours before the meal might as well have been an eternity in his world. When we finally sat down to eat, I made sure to remind him that he had helped make dinner. Making a big deal out of his contribution in front of everyone hopefully boosted his confidence and will encourage him to get involved the next time we get our BBQ on. - A good mentor/apprentice relationship can result in a role reversal – I don’t know how long Bubby will stay interested in BBQ. It might have been a one-off. But if he sticks at it he will be really good. Judging by how much that kid loves food, he will probably find himself at the counter prepping meat again in the future. I picked up meat smoking 8 years ago and have learned almost everything I know via Youtube, Google and through cook books. I’ve learned a lot, and I’ve gotten pretty good. But starting at such a young age, his ceiling is far higher than mine. BBQ could become second nature by the time he reaches the age at which I discovered BBQ. He could reach a level of amazing someday that will have him teaching me how to up my game.
One of my professional goals for next year is to develop some better mentoring practices. Looks like I should pay attention to my kids this summer to pick up some pointers.
What are some helpful mentoring tips you have adopted?
What is your favorite variety of smoked meat?
