I am the Chaplain at a small Christian college in the rural Midwest. The scope of my posts tend to be wide and varied. That's awful branding, but I'm not a brand. I'm just a guy named Christian who wants to share my thoughts, interests, and the lessons I'm learning along the way.
Back in December I posted “nike hates america” in response to the 2010 US World Cup kit design leaking. My thoughts caused a massive outcry. Not enough to crash servers, but certainly getting two comments from people I don’t know is pretty incredible considering the amount of traffic this site generates on a daily basis, almost exclusively from a very small group of friends and family.
In response to those comments, I preset today’s watchlist of “Things You Should Know About Me”.
I own one of the aforementioned shirts. A #10 Landon Donovan shirt, to be specific.
I haven’t worn my shirt yet. It’s hanging in my closet on my nicest hanger.
Until the World Cup is over, I’m only going to wear the shirt on US matchdays. If you want to see how fly my swag is when I’m flossing that mug, then you will have to catch me on May 29, June 5, June 12, June 18 or June 23.
I’m hopeful the US will give me a reason to wear the kit one or two more times before the tournament is over.
I think kit looks better in person than it does on the internet or on TV.
I don’t know about you, but I woke up feeling way different this morning. A little extra pep to the step, if you will. It’s been a long time coming, but for the first time in four years the number of days until the next world cup is down to double digits.
99 days and counting.
That means we’re still 100 days away from England v. USA. But that just gives us a milestone to look forward to when we wake up tomorrow. Glory.
I’m fully aware that most Americans don’t pay attention to the World Cup until the event starts. That’s fine. This has been my first World Cup cycle of paying full attention to every detail. Following numerous international leagues, watching qualifying draws on internet streams, taking in just about every single US friendly I can get my eyes on.
If you aren’t an avid footy follower, no worries. Let me help get you geeked out for the upcoming tournament with some of my favorite current soccer commercials…
The Evolution of Football - This one is cute. Not particularly inspiring or heart-pounding. Nor does it make much sense, now that I think about it. But points for creativity.
England Legends – I hope we beat every single one of the many odds stacked against us and come away with a victory against England. That being said, this commercial is helpful in giving Americans a slight idea of how important the sport is in England.
This is Football – Here’s a video to get you juiced. Even better, it’s a fan created video. Stellar.
ESPN Commercials – Yeah. Football highlights set to a U2 soundtrack. I’ve seen the first one probably a hundred times already as ESPN runs it non-stop during sporting events. Not even close to getting old yet. Shoot, I hope they keep running it even after the World Cup is already over.
Bleed as One – By the way…the US plays Holland today.
Take Me Out – This one is 4 years old, but one of my favorites ever.
The internet has given us many great things. Two of my favorites: videos of kids falling down and videos of kids doing funny/amazing things.
My kids are amazing. But sometimes parents get a little too smitten with their progeny. We lose sight of the fact they might not be perfect. The internet has shown me three areas my kids would have to improve in for them to achieve perfection.
Hip-Hop Dancing -
(h/t ryan k. via fb)
Guitar Skills Accompanied by Singing and ridiculously Cute Facial Gesticulations -
Speaking with a British Accent –
I think the key here as a good parent is not to push my kids too hard. They may not reach the heights that the above three kids have soared to, and that’s ok. Shoot, perhaps my kids will never acquire any of these three skills. But you never know.
In early July 2006, I got sick. Very sick. The sickest I’ve ever been. If the symptom was listed on a bottle of NyQuil, I had it to the max. It was so bad that I had to back out of a work trip and spend 5 days on the couch. When the 4th of July rolled around, I didn’t even smoke any meat. Proof right there that something was seriously wrong.
There was a blessing to come out of the plague. My time on the couch was well-scheduled in that it afforded me the opportunity to watch a nice chunk of the 2006 World Cup, including what was a very entertaining USA v. Italy matchup. I had always liked and respected soccer, but that tournament helped me fall in love with soccer. Those were the days.
If you wonder why I’m waxing sentimental about those good ol’ days, might I point you to excerpts from my Twitter feed on December 4, 2009.
Now that the Rose Bowl is sorted out, we cam move onto pressing international matters…like today’s World Cup 2010 draw. 8:48 AM Dec 4th from qTweeter
would love for the US to draw Italy or England. Def. want a piece of those cats. #worldcupdraw
DANGIT!!!! Just realized Stacy’s family has a camping trip scheduled the day of England v. USA. *cough* i’m coming down with something 11:12 AM Dec 4th from TweetDeck
For the record, I love my in-laws. They are the best in-laws a guy could ask for. They have given me the two greatest gifts a man could ever receive: Stacy’s hand in marriage and tickets to Star Wars In Concert. And I love camping with them. It’s very fun.
I. Love. My. In-laws.
That being said, I need to watch that match. Need to watch it live. It’s a matter of patriotism and pride. Yeah, the US is probably going to get waxed in the match. But in the unlikely event that we can earn a draw, or unlikeliest event that we pull out a victory, I need to see it. Did I mention NEED?
I’m confident a solution can be mediated. We are camping close to Wichita, and I plan on submitting an official request for a 4-hour day pass for the day of the match. But in the event my request is denied, I need a backup plan. I’ll be taking it back to 2006 and figuring out a way to get sick. Very, very sick. Desperate times call for desperate measures, which I now present you in the form of this week’s Wednesday Watchlist:
Kick my clementine orange habit – Every winter, I start pounding those little suckers. 4-5 at a time, a couple of times each day. That much vitamin C has to be turning my immune system into an impenatrable fortress. That’s no good if you are trying to get sick.
Stop washing my hands, and start eating with my hands – It’s sick. But that’s the point.
Open my mouth and dive into the blast radius when people sneeze – I might want to invest in some goggles. It gets messy.
Kiss as many babies as possible – Babies are disgusting. They always have snot and drool on their faces, and they put everything in their mouths. Oh, and they crawl all over the floor. Gotta be a lot of germs for the taking there.
Lick Stacy’s stethoscope, hospital shoes and white coat every night before bed – Great tactic, as long as she hasn’t delivered any babies that day. I have my limits.
I’ll keep everyone posted during the negotiation process. I hope it doesn’t come down to enacting the above strategies.
Throughout my childhood, my parents did a good job of ensuring that the movies I watched were age-appropriate. I wasn’t allowed to watch Gremlins. I did get to watch Ghostbusters, but only when it came out on network television. So even the edgier PG stuff had to be sanitized.
In hindsight however, there seem to be some incongruities in my parent’s philosophy. I remember three films that were probably a little too scary for my young imagination. I’m not sure how they got through the filter, but they were freaky with a capital “F”. Kids in peril. Giant puppets engaging in all sorts of sorcery and magical zaniness. Oh, and let’s not forget David Bowie dancing around in a spandex jumper.
So the bad news is that I was clearly traumatized as a child. The good news is that at least we can pinpoint the three reasons why I’m so weird.
1. The Labrynth:
Well, well, well. If it isn’t the aforementioned David Bowie decked out with one of the most fantastic hair/outfit combos ever. And he has a bunch of crazy puppets with him. And he’s making that cute little baby cry. And the lyrics of his song include the poetic, “Put that magic jump on me/Slap that baby make him free”. Okay, then.
2. The Neverending Story:
Snow! Peril! Horse sinking in mud! Zombie princess girl! Giant turtle sneeze! Crazy laser-eye creatures! Good thing that big fluffy white flying thing was so nice.
3. The Dark Crystal:
And you thought the main character looked strange. Those skeletor bird lookin’ things are are scary enough in their own right, but then they go pumping that crystal voodoo through their eyes. *shudder*
Reliving all these memories is probably going to keep me awake all night.
(photo credit: AP)
